Not an excuse.

I just wanted to write this because I know that there’s other people in the same situation and I want to speak up for everyone. Mental illness is not an excuse, it is an explanation.

There’s a lot of stigma surrounding mental illness, and it’s usually by people who just don’t understand it, or the ignorant people that refuse to try and understand it. Until you’re living it, you can’t imagine it.

Sometimes we have good days, we can do more things than we would on our bad days but that doesn’t mean that this hell is fake, it doesn’t mean that our bad days are exaggerated, it’s simply the fact that today we don’t feel as bad.

Unfortunately we can’t just “think positive”. You cannot think your way out of an illness. It would be amazing if it worked like this, but thinking positive will not cure us.

There’s no reason for it, if our situation changed we would still feel the same, it’s our mind that is ill, not the situation we are in.

Some of us can’t work, we’re not lazy and it’s not that we don’t want to, we can’t. Sometimes simply getting through the day is a job in it’s self.

If a few times in your life you were in a bad situation and you felt a bit “depressed” PLEASE do not compare this to someone who is actually battling depression, it is NOT the same.

It’s tiring, both mentally and physically, and very lonely at times and people that surround you having a bad view on mental health does not help. Don’t tell us we need something to look forward to, we don’t need a holiday and we certainly don’t need to “try and not think about it”. Just pushing ourselves won’t help and calling us lazy will just make us worse.

We’re not weak. We’re most likely stronger than you. If you struggled daily just to get through the simplest of things, can you honestly say you’d still be battling now?

Next time someone you know is struggling with mental illness, THINK before you act. Just because this isn’t your reality, it’s very real to them.



Glossybox Favourites.

I’ve been hearing a lot about Glossybox and have heard a lot of mixed reviews on it so I decided to try it for myself. I’ve had two boxes up to now, the June box and the July box. I love it! It’s so exciting to receive it in the post. The packaging is beautiful and the boxes can be kept and re-used.

Incase you don’t know what Glossybox is, it’s a monthly subscription box that arrives at your door each month in a beautiful pink box that’s packed with beauty goodies! It’s filled with lots of different products from different brands each month so you get the chance to try out a lot of new beauty products. What could be more exciting?!

I was going to post a review on all the products I’d received but I’ve noticed there are a lot of similar blog posts lately, so I’ve decided to just share with you my favourite products from both boxes.

The first product that I absolutely love from the June box is the Ladival Sun Protection Spray SPF 15. I’m a natural redhead with very fair skin and I burn really easily. I’ve tried many different sun creams and they’re usually sticky, greasy and the smell is never appealing. I love this suncream. I tried it out on one of the hottest days of the year and I didn’t burn at all. The cream was non greasy, it rubbed in really easily and the scent is very pleasant. It’s a spray suncream so is very easily to apply. I would definitely buy this product again.

The second product I love out of the June box is the Emite Lip & Cheek Tint. I love wearing a red lip but sometimes a lipstick is just a bit too much for the daytime. This tint is perfect, the colour is gorgeous, it’s easily buildable and it glides on smoothly. It has a really lovely sweet scent too which is a plus. It stayed on for most of the day and it wears off evenly so you’re not left with a red outline around your mouth like many other lip tints. I haven’t tried it on my cheeks as the colour isn’t right for my complexion but I adore it as a lip tint.


The first product that I love from the July box is the Hairon De-tangle brush. I have naturally very thick, curly hair and I’ve tried the cheap de-tangle brushes before with no success. The cheap de-tangle brushes get stuck in my hair and do not work at all so I was not expecting much from this one. I was wrong! This brush is perfect for me, it easily glides through my hair and removes the tangles. It’s a gorgeous pale blue colour too which I really like.

The last product that I love from the July box is the Icona Milano Emotion Allowed mascara. I am amazed with this mascara, my eyelashes are really short and thin but after applying this mascara they looked lush! It lengthens and thickens your lashes and it really does work. It doesn’t run down your face and you’re not left with panda eyes at the end of the day, result!

Overall I am very impressed with Glossybox. I love receiving my box in the post and really look forward to seeing what products and in it that month. If you’re looking to try out different beauty products I’d definitely recommend Glossybox!


Are you signed up to a beauty subscription box? Which one? What has been your favourite item you received?

Aly xx





Blackpool Pleasure Beach

Hi guys!

So this isn’t an anxiety post, but I thought I’d start to include more posts like this because it was such a fun day! A few weeks ago we visited Blackpool Pleasure Beach and had one of the best days out ever. Me and mum stuck to the more gentle rides but the boys went all out on the thrill rides (Avalanche, Infusion, Ice blast etc!), although I did brave the steeplechase and I survived. The Alice in Wonderland ride is still a firm favourite (even at 22 years old), the lights and special effects really make you feel as if you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole. Although, I did feel a little silly climbing into a Cheshire cat surrounded by 6 year olds.

There’s so much to do there, Nickelodeon land is amazing for the kids and there’s plenty of thrill rides to keep the big ones entertained. The park was clean and tidy and there wasn’t a lot of crowds considering it was a weekend!

After the rides we visited a lovely little Fish and Chip shop a few streets behind the pleasure beach, we were going to eat it on the sea front but it was a little too chilly on the day.

If you’re looking for a fun day out I’d definitely recommend Blackpool Pleasure Beach.



Walking helps anxiety!

Recently I’ve been going on walks around local nature areas and I’ve found that it is really helping with my anxiety. There’s just something about being in the middle of nature that is really calming. I really recommend it. I’ve taken a few photos for you all to look at 🙂


The return.

I’m back, because it’s back. It’s been threatening to break through my iron gates for a while and this month is succeeded. Anxiety broke it’s way back into my life after years of me being well.

And you know what?

I’m dealing with it, it’s okay. I’ve spent a few weeks crying about it, feeling sick, not eating and lying in bed, but where will that get me? We all know the only way to get rid of anxiety is to get up and do something about it! I’ve had my moment of sadness and now it’s time to get my arse back into gear and fight. I fought it last time and I’ll do it again, this time I’m older and wiser and I have zero time for it. (wine helps too, but we will talk about that another time 😉 )

If this is your first time dealing with anxiety, it’s a pain in the arse, I know. The way to get rid of it though is to run right into the middle of it. You need to feel the worst of it, let it take your heart rate higher than it’s ever been before, but don’t panic, you’re in control of this, this is your plan! It can’t kill you, but it can make you stronger.

We got this!







Anxiety and why you can’t just ‘get on with it’.

This may be a sort of ranty post, more serious post than my usual ones, so I apologise! I just feel like I need to say this somewhere, so hiii helloo and here we goo..

I have anxiety, though you probably know this, that’s why most of you are here, and I’m in no way ashamed of it. You probably know that too seeing as though I share all this with you all!
When people say anxiety, it makes you think of panic attacks occasionally or getting a bit nervous over things. Some people actually have an anxiety disorder, I have phobic anxiety disorder and I’ve had it for the past few years. Let me be clear, this post is NOT intended to make people feel sorry for me, quite the opposite actually, I want people to recognise how hard it is, and how strong sufferers actually are. I’m a LOT better than I was when I started this blog, but this is for all the people that are still dealing with it all. If you’ve never experienced a full blown anxiety disorder, It’s hard to understand. But, just because you don’t understand or you think that you understand, doesn’t mean you have the room or the right to judge. There is a LOT of stigma attached to mental health issues as it is, without people making assumptions. Firstly, you can’t just ‘get over it’ or ‘get on with it’. When people have a broken leg, do you tell them to just get over it? No, because you can physically see it. We’re not lazy, I would have LOVED to take some of the opportunities that I’ve been offered, but I couldn’t. It’s fine saying push through it, but when you’re having panic attacks constantly, you can’t push through it, it doesn’t stop it happening any less because you pushed through it last time. It’s still equally as horrible and scary each time it happens. It’s a process, a long one, that you have to go through to fight it. It’s not just the mental side of it either, it can make you physically feel ill, the brain is a powerful thing. Next time you have the flu, will yourself to be strong and get over it, and then see what happens. Chances are, you’ll feel just as shit. So, in my opinion, people with mental health problems are a hell of a lot stronger than the fools that tell us to ‘just get on with it’. Think before you speak.

Dear 14 year old girl.


In celebration of me turning 21 (I know, what?!?) I decided to do a post of the things I wish that I’d realised when I was 14. I was around 14 when my anxiety started getting bad and I think that if I’d have realised these things, it wouldn’t have gotten so out of hand. So here we go..

1. Do not care what other people think.
This is a big one. When you’re in your early teens, you want everyone to like you. Let’s be honest though, will it really ruin the rest of your life because Chloe from English didn’t like your hair? Highly unlikely. Who cares what Chloe thinks? Since when was she the editor of Vogue? In a few years time, you won’t even remember her and chances are, her hair looks shit and everyone is too scared to say anything.

2. Do what you want to do, not what everyone else is doing.
Be your own person, you will thank yourself later. Just because other people are doing xyz doesn’t mean that you have to. Stick to what YOU like, don’t be a sheep.

3. Friends.
You will more than likely run into people that you think will be friends for life, but they won’t. If your friends ditch you for a better deal, they aren’t your friends, find new ones. You need friends that you like and have things in common with. Don’t just be friends with Sarah because she hangs around with the cool crowd at the park on a Friday night and can get served for cider and fags. When you grow up, your friends are everything and it’s important that you have ones that will stick by you. Without them, shit will be hard! Sorry Sarahs, nothing personal.

4. Your mum is right.
Or parents, whoever. They’re right. I never thought I’d be saying this but whatever she’s telling you right now and you think she’s being ridiculous, she’s not, listen to her. She’s not trying to ruin your life, believe it or not. Let’s be honest, if you can see your knickers, she’s right and your school skirt is probably a bit too short and the orange foundation probably needs toning down a bit too.

A x

I joined slimming world!

Yes you read that right, I joined slimming world! After the gym fiasco, I decided that maybe it just wasn’t for me, sweating in lycra just isn’t what I want in life. I still need to lose weight though, so I searched high and low in the depths of the internet and discovered the perfect solution! A diet (sorry, a lifestyle choice) where you can eat practically anything you want. Yep, definitely my sort of diet! What is this magic? So, I looked it up and found a group near me! And I actually went, I walked right in through the doors and into the world of slimmers alike. You can eat carbs, actual carbs, and still lose weight! I was a bit worried it would be like alcoholics anonymous, where we all sit in a circle and admit our addiction to food. Hi, I’m Aly and I hide chocolate wrappers from, well from myself really, *shrug*. But it wasn’t at all like that, much to my suprise. It was full of actual normal people, much like myself (well maybe not the normal part, but we can’t all be perfect). All it really consists of is going in, getting weighed (not my favourite part), then you listen to the consultant talk about free food (I love free food, free is always fab), then you go home. Perfect, not the evil I was expecting at all.
My first weigh in wasn’t all that fun, I stood in the que to the scales and listened to everyone complain about being 10 stone, and there’s me at the back thinking “10 stone?! I’m pretty sure my right thigh weighs that alone! Great, all hell will break loose when I get on these scales”. Well, it didn’t go like that at all, it was pretty discreet, nobody shouted “hey you lot, come and have a laugh at this whales weight!”. I just got on, they wrote down my weight, and then I got off, and I wasn’t the whale weight I was expecting, my mirror has clearly been lying to me.
Other than the weigh ins, it’s been going pretty well. I’ve managed to stop myself from devouring whole chocolate cakes, so that’s a plus, and there’s no lycra gym clothes in sight. Although I do still need to do some exercise sadly, but you know what they say, you cant have your cake and eat it! (This person obviously never went to slimming world and discovered syn free cake!)


Why do these things always happen to me?

Hello lovelies, I am back! Did you miss me? There’s a few things that I want to share but I’ll start with this!

Why do I get myself into these situations?!

So, I’ll set the scene. Me and my boyfriend (Tye) are walking through town, just having a nice casual shopping day, when we decide to stop for a drink. The steet we are on is quite busy, and we are stood outside a card factory shop when we are approached by a woman. The woman introduced herself as from some sort of quit smoking cessation place, and asked us if we would like to answer a survey of what we thought about the recent ban of smoking in cars with children. Well, me being the good citizen I am, agreed to the survey. We went through the questions etc, and my boyfriend did the same. She then asked if we would have our photos taken, my boyfriend said no, as hes clearly not an idiot like me. I agreed thinking it was for their files or something. So then I find myself in some sort of photo shoot in the middle of the town center, being asked to pose in various ways, at this point we were attracting quite the crowd, with people sniggering at me wondering what the hell is going on. They were obviously confused as I’m not quite Naomi Campbell. To top it off, I was handed giant posters to hold, informing everyone what I thought of the smoking ban (which I completely agree with, just to add).
So there I am, in the middle of town. In my primark leggings and my hair looking like a bush, and I wasn’t exactly having a good make up day. Meanwhile Tye is finding this highly amusing.
After the photo shoot had sadly come to an end, I was then informed that my face would ‘just’ be used on some flyers, maybe an advert in the paper and various other advertising materials. Flyers?! My face on FLYERS?! What? Oh excellent, just what I need. My anxiety loves this!
So, that was the day that I went for a nice leisurely shopping trip and came back the face of the new smoking ban campaign.
Fabulous 🙂



**Warning – if you are emetophobic, this post may contain quite a few trigger words**

It’s taken me a while to decide if I wanted to write a post about this because I feel like it’s a strange phobia to have, but I decided that emetophobia needs to be more recognised and accepted.

What is emetophobia? 

Emetophobia is the fear of vomit, to put it plainly. Usually when I tell people this they reply with “yes, well nobody likes being sick” but this isn’t just a case of not liking it, it’s an intense and irrational fear that effects sufferers greatly.

Emetophobia is different for everyone. Some sufferers are scared of anything involving vomit, or  for some it is just a fear of their selves vomiting or a fear of just other people vomiting. There are a lot of different types of emetophobia.

I have only recently started to share with family and friends that I have emetophobia and even the people that I have told, I don’t think they quite get the extent of my phobia.

At the moment it’s almost winter in the UK, and for people with emetophobia, this time of the year is terrifying, it’s the time where stomach bugs and norovirus are everywhere.

How does someone develop emetophobia?

For a lot of emetophobics, it is developed after a traumatic experience involving vomit. Although, for some people (including me) there is no reason for the phobia, it just develops.

How does this phobia effect a person?

For someone with emetophobia, every day is a struggle. From the moment we wake up we are wary about feeling nauseous and we analyse every little thing that our body does that we consider abnormal, just in case it means that we are going to get sick. A lot of suffers avoid certain foods, and many of us refuse to eat out at restraunts. We avoid leaving the house, for fear of catching a stomach virus, and the rare time we do leave the house, we carry a bottle of hand sanitizer everywhere, then when we arrive home we count down for the next 72 hours (stomach bug incubation period). If after 72 hours we are not sick, we will accept that we haven’t caught a stomach bug, but the 72 hours leading up to that moment are hell. We avoid alcohol, and the thouht of going out clubbing surrounded by drunk people, is an absolute nightmare. We will avoid family and friends that are ill, and possibly be scared to go anywhere near them for the next few weeks. When we are out and someone mentions that they don’t feel very well, panic stations set in, and we can’t help but ramble 20 questions to the person, to try and analyse whether they are feeling sick, or just have a cold.

There are a lot more ways in which emetophobia effects daily life, but I don’t want to go on, for fear of rambling. I may make a separate post on it if anyone is interested!

If you are suffering with emetophobia, you are not alone. There are many of us, it is actually one of the most common phobias, which is hard to believe seeing as though many people have never heard of it.

Emetophobia is a real thing, and very hard to live with. We need to speak up about this phobia! X