My thought process whilst I’m at the gym.

I’ve been attending the gym for a whole month now, so I’m practically a regular, right? I noticed that my brain is in overdrive whilst I’m there, I’m not sure if it’s due to my anxiety because I’m surrounded by people, or do other people think like this too? So I decided to share with you, my ‘gym thought process’. I’m not insane, I promise!

Okay so I’m here again, I’ll be fit in no time! I’ve been here a month, I’ve practically made a lifetime commitment. Well in we go. Wow it’s quite full today, am I sure I want to do this? Just walk for god sake! Oh no, is the guy on the front desk staring at me? I bet hes wondering what the hell I’m doing here. Well it’s a gym so I guess he does know why I’m here.
Okay, what should I go on first? I should probably stretch. Why does the room for stretching have other people in it?! You know what? I don’t think you need to stretch for the treadmill do you? Nah, I’ll be fine. Which treadmill should I pick? One facing the wall so nobody can see my face? Perfect!
Why is everyone else in very attractive gym wear? Did I not get the memo to dress up?! Wow I bet I look like a right idiot. Okay just get on the treadmill, that will be a start?
So, I’m on the treadmill! This workout thing doesn’t seem too hard! Start! Woo now we’re off, 1.5mph, yes that seems reasonable. Just remember to keep your feet moving and all will be fine, dont stop, you don’t want to fly off the end! Oh god, what if my legs seize up and I do fly off of the end?! How embarrassing would that be? I’d never be able to return again! Oh wow the guy next to me is going fast, maybe I should up my speed. 4mph, this doesn’t seem too bad, a nice brisk walk, feels quite good actually. Yes thats it, keep your feet moving! I’m quite good at this fitness lark! 6mph, a nice leisurely jog, well this is going well! Wow, actually this is a bit fast!
Ohgod, I’m out of breath. No don’t slow down, everyone will see how slow you’re going! Just breathe slowly. The heartrate monitor is going up! Am I having a heart attack?! Oh god, I’m dying, right here in the gym. Water, I need water. Ok I feel a bit better now, pushed through the burn, thats what they say isn’t it? I wonder how long I’ve been on here, must have been atleast half an hour, I’m doing pretty well! 16 minutes?! Only 16 minutes?! Are you joking! Maybe the timer on it is broken? Yes that’s probably it! Keep going, another 16 minutes and it will be all over. Ouch I think I’ve torn a muscle, help me! Maybe I should slow down. Ok, 3.5mph, this should be good. How is everyone else going so fast?! I can barely manage my brisk walk. Maybe jogging isn’t my thing.. I can’t feel my legs. Oh god, stop stop stop STOP. 5 minute cool down?! What is this evil? I want to stop!
Oh good, it’s stopped. I’m glad that’s over!

I’ll try the bikes, I think I would enjoy sitting down! On the bike I get, oh this is a bit high. How do I adjust the seat?! Ouch!! Everyone is looking at me wondering why I’m not adjusting it! I don’t want to ask, I’ll look weird! Oh no, I’m panicking! Oh wait, what does this yellow lever do? Yup, seat adjusted, panic over! Pedal pedal pedal, this is nice! Maybe I should get some cycling shorts, I seem quite good at this! Let’s add some resistance. Why aren’t the wheels turning?! Okay, maybe no resistance for now. Well everyone has to start somewhere! I know, I’ll put some music on whilst I cycle, pass the time, I bet I could last atleast 10 songs, this seems easy! How is that guy moving his legs so fast?! He looks like he’s going to spin right off the bike! Ohgod, I hope he doesn’t land on me!

Right, I’m dying, my legs are on fire. How many songs has it been? 2?!? Oh well, like I said, everyone has to start somewhere! I’ll try more tomorrow.

Well that was a good workout! Oh look, the scales! Should I weigh myself? I bet ive lost atleast 5lbs after that! Oh no, people will probably stare at me, nobody uses the scales at the gym! Don’t you know anything!


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